Monday, December 29, 2008

Your First Party

You've made it to your first big party.

How'd you get here? Maybe that wealthy preppie kid a town over is throwing a rager or maybe you finally got in with the guy whose swinger parents skip town every weekend to mix it up in el Caribe with the natives. Doesn't matter. You're first party can make or break you as a person in high school. You need to be prepared.

Pre-Party Planning
Have a good cover story. Also, you need to invest in a sober driver or be able and willing to walk back from this party on your own two feet. You have no idea what could happen at this party, so don't count on staying over - have a backup plan in place. Driving after drinking is not a backup plan. My lawyers tell me that I can not endorse driving under the influence, so don't do it. The fines and medical bills will put you in a financial hole the rest of your life (that means you will not live the dream and you fail at life). Have fun working at Walgreens!

First Step

Before you even consider going to any party – know your tolerance. Alcohol affects everyone in different ways – if you tend to be sloppy when you drink, you better be aware of this and know how to compensate for it. (That means you need to drink at least once before you go to your first big party Einstein.)

Odds and Ends
Never be without a few key items.
-A lighter
-Cigarettes (does not matter if you smoke or not)
-Cell phone & car charger
-Shot glass
-Bottle opener
-Knowledge of good music

-Knowledge of drinking games

These items are the most asked for items at parties. They can help start conversation; it's a good social networking tool. This way, if Johnny Football Star comes up and can't open his beer, you can help him out while simultaneously gaining style points for being prepared and winking at Suzy “party favor” Swanson.

Try to bring something to the party that distinguishes you. When I worked in the kitchen of a female prep school, we'd make hot wings every Friday night before we left. At whatever party we decided was the best for the night, we'd bring the wings to the drunk kids. Instant drinks and bong hits for us. Try bringing some kind of different micro-brewery beer, a funnel (beer bong whatever), expensive liquor, or maybe have ping pongs balls with you. The point is to make a statement.

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