Sunday, November 30, 2008


I'll kick these lessons off with something easy that most guys will know about. If you've heard the term “The Friend Zone” before, you know it is a trap. It's a trap many guys will unknowingly fall into with a girl they want to hook up with. Once you enter this zone with the girl, you may not be able to get out of it which will doom you to a fate of the dreaded platonic relationship otherwise known as you ain't hittin’ that and you now have a major case of something called chronic blueballs-itis.

How do I know if I’m in the zone?

If you’re in the zone, you’ll hit every jump shot you take. If you’re in the friend zone, you won’t be putting your balls in any baskets.

You probably know a hottie and are convinced she wants your manrod in or around her mouth. You think it’s just going to take some time and game spitting before you give her a one way ticket to Pound Town and show her who the mayor is (that’s you chief). Problem was you aren’t even at the train station, and if you had been you would have unknowingly just purchased a one way fare to Blue Balls Lagoon instead of Bone City.

Warning Signs
#1 – The girl has a boyfriend and complains to you about him. If a girl complains to you about "Oh my god Jim is such a dickhead Oh My God he is such a dick... yada yada" you have to walk away immediately. Just leave. NewsFlash, girls like dickheads, they want what they can't have, and the more they can’t have it, they want it. If you're in this situation you better start ignoring this girl, blow her off from time to time, flirt with other girls, do anything to make this girl realize you actually have a pair (a pair of balls genius, not a pair of ears – of course she knows you have ears, she can see them and she’s abusing them isn’t she?)

#2 – She wants to go on day dates, get help with her homework, etc.
Don’t go on day dates, ever. If you haven’t hooked up with this girl, a day date is like self-inflicted castration. No doubt you’ll end up at the nearest Starbucks where she’ll quiz you on your knowledge of The Hills and how they manage to hide the true size of Kim Kardashian’s ass on MTV.

#3 –She wants to set you up with a friend, or wants to be set up with one of your friends.

Get out, just get out. This girl is a vampire, she’s just trying to get the attention she doesn’t get from those guys she really likes from you. Problem is, you might think you care about this girl.

Don't let girls know you care about them and if you can help it (ie you have a penis) don't actually let yourself care about them. The less you give a shit, the more likely you are to turn them on because they see they can't own you or control you and that drives girls crazy.

Lesson/Take Away
Don't be the nice guy if you want to get with this girl. If a girl describes you to her friends as "oh but he's so nice" you have a big problem. Don't ever ever listen to a girl's problems - it's the job of their girlfriends, tissue boxes, diet pills, and credit cards to listen to that bullshit, not you.

One last thing

Why should you bother listening to me any way?

I'll tell you why. I don't care about your opinion of me, just like you don't care about my opinion of you. So with that said, I’ll give you my biased view of how life works and what you should do to get the most out of it.

Where I was (read: boring Background info)

I didn’t fit in one crowd in highschool - probably because every year I was maturing and changing my lifestyle. This allowed me to develop relationships with all types of people. I've had friends that scored perfectly on their SATs and friends who dropped out of high school and got their girlfriends pregnant. I've had friends who lead their church youth groups and friends who have tripped on acid. I've had friends who've sold drugs then gone to prison and friends that have overdosed on synthetic drugs and are no longer with us. All of these relationships have shaped my life and I have learned something from each of these people.

Where I'm at (aka The Present)
College is over but the learning is not. I am now working in the corporate financial world in my chosen field of study. I'm still young, but I've already learned many lessons which I will pass on. One thing I will say now is, if you think that popularity contests end after high school - you are dead wrong. The corporate world is another popularity contest, only with much higher stakes. I hope to navigate this world and end up on top one day. So the advice I'll be giving you is the advice I'll be heeding myself. Hindsight is 20/20 so enjoy this opportunity to learn before you get thrown into the fire.

Why did I start this?

Where am I coming from?

I grew up in mid-sized suburban town in the Northeast. My parents were very conservative and at the time I found it very difficult to approach them for advice on anything. I didn't stay home very much. I found every excuse possible to leave my house to try to find what more life had to offer.

Looking back, I wanted someone to just tell me how life worked - the keys to being popular and successful, how to win friends and influence people, how college worked, what kinds of jobs afford a great lifestyle, how the corporate world works and of course advice about women. I didn't have that luxury. So now I am writing this.

What's my goal with this blog?

It's simple - give you advice that I never had.
Advice about sex, drinking, sports, school, careers, drugs, girls, college, clothing, attitude, career paths, you name it.

Talking with my parents about these topics was not an option. I actually tried to find some answers to my questions on the internet, but there was no good place to look. I'm sure many of you fall into this category, searching for answers, and that is why I am writing.

What do I have to offer?

Experience. Plain and simple - I've already been through everything you are going through. I'll tell it the way I saw it. I’ll tell you the things I wish I had done, the things I’m glad I did, and the things I would advise never doing while your growing up.

Through my high school and college years I hung out with everyone - The smart kids, the rich kids, the stoners, the rednecks, the jocks, the surf-bums, the drinkers, the meat heads, the wanna-be thugs, the coke heads, the guidos, the real thugs, the easy girls, the prudes and the people everywhere in between.

Don't take everything I say here as gospel. My thoughts and opinions are flawed, just like everyone else's. Learn to read this and make your own informed decisions.

Who am I?

I was 16 years old and I was standing in the District Attorney’s court room. I was staring at him, nervously wondering how he was going to judge the criminal offense I had just committed.

He was staring back at me rather disdainfully until he finally asked, “Son, what one advantage do you have over me?”

Standing there in dimly lit court room that smelled vaguely of urine, I could only think of the most obvious things – more hair and a higher sperm count.

I could see no advantage I had over this well-respected community leader who held a fancy law degree and an AARP card who would decide my fate, regardless of whatever witty retort I could muster.

As the title states, this is a guide to how life works. Parents, teachers and siblings will give advice on what to do with your life. This guide is not that kind of advice. This guide is for all the questions you don't want to ask your parents, teachers or friends or the ones wouldn't think to ask.

Teenage through college years are a wild ride for everyone. This is the time in your life that will define the rest of your life. You will establish your identity and the decisions you make during these times will determine where you are at when you’re looking for your first real job, deciding to get married, and about ready to retire (that means the rest of your life kids.)

It took me a minute, but then it hit me.

“Time. I have more time than you.”

He looked startled.

“That’s right,” he said, “and you have time to learn from your mistakes, like the one you just made.”

The purpose of this guide is simple. I’m going to share the advice with you I wish I had when I was going through high school and college. I’ll also share the advice I’m learning now in the corporate world.

This guide is for all - from the pimple faced brainiac to the super jock to every man in between. This guide will tell you about sex, women, drinking, partying, sports, cars, lies, money, drugs, rock & roll, technology, college, popularity contests and whatever else I feel like sharing.

You want to know why that hot girl in your algebra class doesn’t know you exist - keep reading. You’re wondering just how much your high school teachers really know about career advice - keep reading. If you’ve ever wanted to have someone look back at their life and say to you “these are the things you’re going to wish you did, but now it’s too late”, keep reading.

Life - Recycled

Welcome to Knowledge Basket. Life's experiences, recycled.

Read on and learn.