The FRIEND ZONE

I'll kick these lessons off with something easy that most guys will know about. If you've heard the term “The Friend Zone” before, you know it is a trap. It's a trap many guys will unknowingly fall into with a girl they want to hook up with. Once you enter this zone with the girl, you may not be able to get out of it which will doom you to a fate of the dreaded platonic relationship otherwise known as you ain't hittin’ that and you now have a major case of something called chronic blueballs-itis.

How do I know if I’m in the zone?

If you’re in the zone, you’ll hit every jump shot you take. If you’re in the friend zone, you won’t be putting your balls in any baskets.

You probably know a hottie and are convinced she wants your manrod in or around her mouth. You think it’s just going to take some time and game spitting before you give her a one way ticket to Pound Town and show her who the mayor is (that’s you chief). Problem was you aren’t even at the train station, and if you had been you would have unknowingly just purchased a one way fare to Blue Balls Lagoon instead of Bone City.

Warning Signs
#1 – The girl has a boyfriend and complains to you about him. If a girl complains to you about "Oh my god Jim is such a dickhead Oh My God he is such a dick... yada yada" you have to walk away immediately. Just leave. NewsFlash, girls like dickheads, they want what they can't have, and the more they can’t have it, they want it. If you're in this situation you better start ignoring this girl, blow her off from time to time, flirt with other girls, do anything to make this girl realize you actually have a pair (a pair of balls genius, not a pair of ears – of course she knows you have ears, she can see them and she’s abusing them isn’t she?)


#2 – She wants to go on day dates, get help with her homework, etc.
Don’t go on day dates, ever. If you haven’t hooked up with this girl, a day date is like self-inflicted castration. No doubt you’ll end up at the nearest Starbucks where she’ll quiz you on your knowledge of The Hills and how they manage to hide the true size of Kim Kardashian’s ass on MTV.

#3 –She wants to set you up with a friend, or wants to be set up with one of your friends.

Get out, just get out. This girl is a vampire, she’s just trying to get the attention she doesn’t get from those guys she really likes from you. Problem is, you might think you care about this girl.

Don't let girls know you care about them and if you can help it (ie you have a penis) don't actually let yourself care about them. The less you give a shit, the more likely you are to turn them on because they see they can't own you or control you and that drives girls crazy.

Lesson/Take Away
Don't be the nice guy if you want to get with this girl. If a girl describes you to her friends as "oh but he's so nice" you have a big problem. Don't ever ever listen to a girl's problems - it's the job of their girlfriends, tissue boxes, diet pills, and credit cards to listen to that bullshit, not you.